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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

I'm not too great at this "regular" blogging thing am I?

I've just returned from spending a week away with my boys recently in beautiful Merimbula, NSW, Australia. We've been to Merimbula two years in a row and how much has life changed in that year! Merimbula will always be a special place for me as when we went the first time, it ended up being the perfect antidote for my depression. It was at Merimbula, that I had the time and the space (and the beautiful ocean) to sit and reflect and make some decisions that would change my life forever.

I've never been medicated for my depression (I tried 2 days of anti-depressants, but had a severe reaction and that's a whole other story) so I have always tried to manage my illess through naturopathic channels, counselling and any other way I could find that worked! The biggest decision I made at Merimbula and one that would change my life forever , was to join a gym! I hadn't been a member of a gym for around 5 years and certainly hadn't done a lot of manage my health or fitness during this time; I think I exercised about 3 times when I was pregnant, then after the birth of my son, always tended to find an excuse (as you do!) and then between starting a business when my son was 6 months old, going back to work and trying to be the perfect mother, I had let the gym bunny side of me take a big hopping leap. This was a big thing for me as my first job was working at at gym and being fit, active and healthy has always been a part of my life and over time I've come to realise it's a part of WHO I am! 

So, 4 days after we returned from Merimbula, I started researching local gyms to find one that suited me. I attended trials at a few but still couldnt' find one that suited me and most of all one where I felt comfortable being me; depression, anxiety and all! My last resort was a local "women's only" gym... I'd never thought of attending a women's only gym. Where I've worked always had men and women, so the novelty of a women's only gym had never really appealed to me. I thought after all I'd been through, I didn't have much to lose. I took the chance and stepped through the doors; I felt right at home as soon as I walked in. The manager that greeted me listened to everything I said I needed and  and really understood what I needed to get me going and to get me managing my illnesses. It was nice for a change to not feel judged but feel supported by a complete stranger! I signed up straight away and I've never really looked back... since then this "stranger" is no longer a stranger but someone who I can turn to for encouragment and support. I was also introduced to another "stranger" (my trainer) who I now regard as one of my closest confidantes... she gets me and doesn't pull any shit. She's a realist and tells me how it is... I must say when she first did this I thought "gees, you can't say that to me, I suffer from a mental illness"... but give me 1 - 2 hours later when I actually processed what she had said, I snapped right out of it and was on my way again. Clearly she'd done her job well!

13 months later and here I am... stronger, healthier, smarter and more in tune with me! All because I found a piece of me that was missing... the healthy, active, fit, gym lover who had taken a back seat to something we call LIFE! I'm not saying it's been an easy process, I've had my moments believe me! But it's a journey and

Remember, if you're feeling sad, angry, frustrated, flat, confused etc, find someone you can chat too. Share your problems, no one should have to walk the journey alone. You never know, that "chat" could change your life forever. Mine did.